


Big Brother Master Blaster

by fBattle



Category: Big Brother Master Blaster
Genre: Eproctophilia, M/M, Male Bonding, Male Farting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26842480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fBattle/pseuds/fBattle
Summary: Jason Wilson and his best friend just got his invite the pledge the elite fraternity, Omega Rho Gamma. Unfortunately for them, the Gammas are the gassiest guys on campus, and their hazing takes full advantage of that. Will Jason survive the process?
Kudos: 6





	1. Big Brother Master Blaster

## I wasn't expecting pledging to be so difficult. I shoulda known better.

Earlier that afternoon, I had recieved a letter saying that I was now a pledge in the 189th class of the Gamma Phi Chapter of Omega Rho Gamma Fraternity. They were the coolest fraternity on campus. They had the best grades on campus, threw the best parties, and provided the most help around the community. I was unbelievably excited, and I sent a text to see if my best friend Joseph recieved a letter too.

"Hell yeah I did!", his text read.

"Celebrate at the Texas Buffet?", I asked.

"Definitely, bro. I'll meet you there.", Joe replied.

The Texas Buffet was only a short walk from campus and the cheapest buffet in town. We were both broke college students, so we usually ate there if we were sick of the school's food. They had some amazing chili that Joe and I loved. Some days we would go there just to fill up on bowls and bowls of chili. By the time we made it back to the dorms, we would be ripping the foulest farts. Many a farting contest was fueled by Texas Buffet chili. 

When I arrived at the Texas Buffet, Joe had already gotten a table, and was nibbling on some bread.

"What dude, no chili?", I asked, surprised.

"Naw man, not today. I gotta date with Lauren tonight. Last time I hit her with a chili fart, she didn't talk to me for two days.", he laughed.

"That's how you know she's a keeper. The last girl you dated that smelled one of your rips ran away and never looked back.", I joined in on the laughter, "Well I don't have anyone to impress tonight, and this is a celebration, so I'm going for a record. 10 bowls."

"Hah! Good Luck with that!" Joe replied.

We ate and laughed and talked about nothing, when a new patron walked into the restaurant. He was tall, about 6' 2" and built like a basketball player, muscular and lean. His bright red hair and beard shined beautifully, and he greeted the hostess with a dazzling smile. I was awestruck, but Joseph had a different reaction.

"Oh FUCK!" he said, a little too loudly.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked, still staring at the sexy ginger at the door.

"That's Ryan Wright!" he said, nervously.

"Who?" I asked.

"He was the president of Omega Rho Gamma last year. He left this year to study abroad in Britain. Why is he here?" Joe said.

"Why does that matter?" I asked, still not getting what the big deal was. After all, he's just a guy.

Joe sighed, "He was a top Gamma. We're pledges now. He has a reputation for breaking pledges."

"How bad could he be?" I couldn't imagine someone that good looking being a serious hazer. "I'm gonna introduce us." I got up and walked over where he was standing, still chatting up the hostess.

"What? No!" Joseph was freaking out, but I wanted to make a good impression, so I ignored him.

Ryan was finishing up his conversation as I approached him. "Good Afternoon, Mr. Wright. I'm Jason Wilson." I extended my hand for a handshake. Ryan started laughing.

"You're a new pledge, aren't you?" he said, still chuckling.

"How could you tell?" I asked him.

"The only people that greet me so formally are new pledges and my father. And I'm pretty sure that you're not him." he said, still chuckling.

"Ah, well it's nice to meet you. I'm here with my friend Joseph Washington. He's a new pledge too. We've got a table over there. You're welcome to sit with us if you'd like." I said.

"Umm, I'd love to, but..." he started blushing. It made his bright red hair seem even brighter. "I came here for some amazing chili, but it tends to make me a little gassy. I don't want to ruin your meal with my farts."

Surprised, I began laughing a little. "Man we love the chili here too. We've had so many fart-offs after eating here. Trust me, I'm sure we can handle whatever you're putting out."

He hesitated for a second, then agreed. We walked back over to the table. Joseph hopped up awkwardly and rushed to shake Ryan's hand. Ryan stopped him.

"Calm down man! It's cool. Nice to meet you, Joseph."

Joe finally began to calm down, "Oh. Nice to meet you, Mr. Wright"

"Ryan, just call me Ryan"

"Ok, nice to meet you Ryan."

We began some normal conversation, and by the end of our time there nothing felt awkward. I was definitely started to fall for Ryan. But that would have to wait until after I'm done pledging.

Man, could he eat! Joe and I had some big stomachs, I even managed to get through 10 bowls of chili. But Ryan knocked out 15 and was getting ready to get his 16th when he checked his watch.

"Oh shit, I'm gonna be late for a meeting. I gotta go. Do you guys need a ride back on campus?"

We definitely wanted to avoid walking back in that heat, so we accepted his offer. We got in his truck, but before we left he told us that his windows were broken and don't roll down.

"That's fine." I said, "It's a short ride" And we began to head back on campus.

"Joe, I noticed you weren't eating any chili. Jason told me that you two usually eat it and have epic farting contests. I hope you weren't holding back because of me." Ryan said.

"No sir, I usually fart with the best of them, but I'm meeting my girfriend tonight. She can't handle my gas, so I held off today." Joe replied.

"Ah, the big S.O." Ryan said. "I had a boyfriend back in London myself. I tried to hold back my gas when I was with him. But I got drunk once, and my...darker side came out. When I woke up the next morning, he was gone, and I had a text from him. All it said was, "I can't do this anymore."

"What a weakling." I said, "A real man can handle a little gas"

"Oh really," Ryan said, a small smirk curling on his lips. He turned off the AC and before we could ask why...

**BRrprpRPPARPAARRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP**

He ripped a humongous fart that felt like it shook the walls of his truck.

My heart skipped a beat. This man is so sexy and he rips powerful farts? My dick began to throb a little. I wanted to compliment Ryan's fart, but my mind was blank. I needed to calm down.

Luckily Joe filled the silence, "Nice one! Man, we have got to get you in one of our contests one day!"

"I'm not done yet!" Ryan exclaimed, his smirk slowly widening into an evil grin.

**BPBPPRPARPAPRARRRPPPPTPTTTTTTTTTTTTTT**

**BBBRRRRRPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP**

**BBBBBBRRRRPPPPPPTTTTTT**

**PHRRRRRRRTTTTTLLLPTTTTSLPTSHHHHHRT**

And he continued like that for the remainder of the car ride. Joe and I both went from laughing to silent praying this ride would end soon.The heat was stifling, and the smell ungodly. And yet, my dick was unbearably hard. The smell permeated every thought and it was all we could do to keep from running from the car. But we managed to tough it out.

Finally, he pulled up to our dorm. We dashed out the car, eager to catch our breath. Ryan rolled down the window and said to us, with a manic glint in his eye to compliment his crazy smile, "Wow, you guys are pretty tough to survive my gas. I wonder how you would fare once the chili hits my system. Stay by your phones, you'll be getting a call from someone about your pledge process. And from here on out, you refer to me as Big Brother Master Blaster."

Shocked by this, and still dazed by the onslaught of gas we endured, Joe and I could only nod, dumbfounded.

"I can't hear you..." he said playfully, "Do you want to get back in the truck?" He punctuated his sentence with an almighty

**BRRPT BRRPT BRRRPRRTPT**

"No, Big Brother Master Blaster, Sir!", we said, snapping upright.

"That's better." Ryan laughed, "See you guys tonight." And then he drove off.

Joe and I looked at each other, both of us trembling slightly.

"Did he say that the chili hadn't hit his system yet?" Joe asked.

"Yep. You might want to cancel your date with Lauren." I replied.

"..."

"..."

"What the fuck did we just sign up for?"


	2. First Night Out

I sat by my phone for the rest of the day. I was anxiously awaiting the phone call that Rya- I mean, Big Brother Master Blaster told us to look out for. Joe was sitting across from me staring at his phone too. I can’t imagine that they’d call us this late But it was already ten o’clock. The chili from earlier was starting to hit me. I attempted to lighten the mood.

“Hey, Joe”

“Yeah, man?”

**PPPHHRMMMMPPHH**

I let out a small ripper. But my heart wasn’t in it. Joe wasn’t impressed either.

“Dude, that was nice, but I can’t get the thought of Ryan’s onslaught out of my mind.” He said.

“Yeah, same here. In just a few minutes, he put our battles to shame.” I said, dejecteted.

“We’ve got to step our game up.” Joe said.

“I agree.” I replied, “But h-”

And then both our phones rang simultaneously. We grabbed our phones immediately.

“H-Hello?” I answered.

“I’m texting you an address now, be there in ten minutes.” The voice on the other side said.

“Yes sir.” I replied nervously.

*click*

I looked over at Joe. Who had finished his call and was plugging in the address to his phone.

“Fuck!” he yelled, “It’s a fifteen minute walk from here!”

“RUN!” I yelled. And we took off.

I instantly regretted gorging myself on chili earlier. With each step I released a powerful fart. Any other day, this would be awesome, but I was about to be in front of the Gammas, and that’s not how you make a good impression.

We sprinted in the direction the GPS directed us and eventually ran into a very nice neighborhood. Ahead of us there was another guy sprinting at full speed. He was wearing the school colors, I guess he was on one of the sports teams. Behind us were 4 other guys who seemed to be struggling. I guess we were all running to the same place. I checked the time, and eight minutes had already passed. Dammit, we gonna be were late. Still farting with each step, I tried to run harder, until we all arrived at a mansion. We were all on the doorstep, huffing and puffing, trying to catch our breath. The athlete had already rung the doorbell so we had a chance to breathe

One of the guys that was running behind us spoke up, laughing like an idiot. “One... of you niggas *huff*...is stank as fuck. That...run..was...horrible. My nose...wasn’t ready...for that.”

I instantly felt bad. And my stomach wasn’t feeling any better. “Sorry, that was me...I... had some chili. Anyway, nice to meet you. I’m Jason.” 

He laughed, “No big deal, man, just remind me to never stand behind you. That shit is intense. I’m Victor, Victor Wallace, Botany Major, Professional Stoner. I guess we’re all gonna be brothers soon.”

“If we survive all of this. I’m ready for anything, but I’ve heard the hazing in this frat can get pretty wild.” The athlete said. “I’m Oswald Richardson, but please just call me Ozzie. I’m a Business Management major. Fullback on the rugby team.”

“I’m Chad Nunez, Mechanical Engineering Major, head of the Robotics team.” the guy wearing glasses said, nervously.

“I remember seeing you in the gym at the same time we had morning workouts. Dude you can put up some serious weight.” Ozzie said.

Chad blushed “Well thanks, I get really nervous lifting around people, that’s why I lift so early in the morning.”

Ozzie laughed, “Next time you’re there come and lift with the team, I promise it’ll be-” 

**FFRMMMPPPHHHH! FFRRBBBBBFFFFFT! FFRMMMBBBBBBBRRFFTTT!**

Everybody turned to look at me.

“Sorry! So sorry! Like I said I had some chili, so I’m gassy, and I’m nervous, and I’m-”

Victor started cracking up. “Hah! Man! Nice one! That was awesome!”

Everyone else started chuckling.

“Dude we’re all guys here,” Ozzie started, “It’s not a big de- HOLY FUCK IT STINKS” 

And Victor started laughing even harder.

Then the front door opened, and the laughter stopped.

Ryan was at the door.

Joe and I looked at each other for a sec, “Hello Big Brother Master Blaster!” we said in unison. The other guys looked around, confused.

Ryan ignored us, “Good evening future brothers. I’m Ryan Wright. It’s nice to meet all of you. You will follow me, quietly. When we get to our destination, get in height order. Understood?”

We nodded nervously.

“I asked a question, I expect an answer. Understood!?” he said, that crazy glint appearing in his eyes.

“Yes, sir!” we sounded off.

“Good” and he walked inside. 

We followed him into the gigantic house. I would have been amazed at the mansion all around me, but I could only stare at Ryan. He was wearing an all black suit, but his ass was still poking out. I couldn’t help but stare at it. I was lost in a pervy fantasy when suddenly a noxious smell hit me. I knew instantly that it was Ryan, but it was so much worse than before. Onions, garlic, rotten meat, cabbage, beans, all the worst smells imaginable. My eyes started tearing up, I looked at Joe. He tried to keep a poker face, but his eyes were running like crazy. Ozzie, Chad, and Victor, all had their hands over their noses and were staring at me with the death eyes. I shook my head trying to quietly explain that it wasn’t me when I was pushed.

“Dude, What the FUCK!”, the redheaded guy said.

“My mouth was open! I’m about to throw up!”, his blonde friend said.

I was about to answer when Ryan cut in, calmly.

“Well that was easy. Shawn Forbes, Walter Sullivan, you were told to follow me quietly. How could you ever have hoped to be a Gamma man if you can’t follow simple instructions? Kindly exit the premises.”

They both looked as if they’d been struck. Without even a word of rebuttal, they turned around and left. At that moment, I realized that I didn’t even know their names until just now. And I almost spoke up and would have been kicked out with them. I’m gonna have to pay better attention.

We began to follow Ryan again, and now he was just fucking with us. There was a constant stream of silent gas for the rest of the walk to the room. I was amazed, disgusted and a little scared. The other guys seemed dazed, and as we entered the room, nobody began to to move, forgetting Ryan’s other order.

Ryan looked at us, waited for a second, then grabbed the back of Joe’s head and forced it down to his ass 

**BBBBRRRRBBBBBBBBFFFTT!**

“Are you all fucking daft? Height order! Joe’s the shortest, so he’s gonna stay here until you all get your shit together. MOVE!”

**PPBBBRTTMMMMPPPHHH! BBRMMPPPH! BBRAAAAPPPFFT!**

We scrambled to get in height order. It was only four of us (with Joe being the fifth), but it still took us a whole minute to get in order. A whole minute Joe was trapped at point blank range of Ryan’s gas. When we got in proper order, he gave Joe a final BBRMMPPHH! then released him. Joe staggered back to his spot, having to lean on Ozzie and catch his breath.

The order was Joe, Ozzie, Chad, me, then Victor. Ryan walked up and down our line then he stopped at me. “So you’re a D, huh” he said to himself, and he smiled that crazy, scary, sexy smile of his. I instantly got nervous. My stomach started bubbling. Then he turned away from me and yelled, “They’re ready!” 

Two men walked in the room. Both of them wearing all black suits like Ryan. The taller of the two was black with dreadlocks. The other one was a white guy with a huge viking beard. He started laughing, “God damn it stinks in here! Did one of the pledges shit himself already?”

Ryan answered, “I was just hanging out with Letter A for a little bit while they got in order. Remember when we used to hang out Caleb?”

Caleb, the guy with the beard, instantly stopped laughing. “Do I? I had to wash my face for a week to get your stink off me.”

“Ok, enough pleasantries.” The black guy cut in. Then he turned to us, “Good evening future brothers of Omega Rho Gamma. My name is Sirod Bashor. I’m the President of the chapter this year. I’m here to help you become true Gamma Men. Think of me as the good cop in your lives. If you need help along the way, or you start struggling in your classes, I’ll do my best to help you out. But if you piss me off, I’ll leave you to the bad cop. Get it?”

“Yes sir!” we all replied.

“And from here on out, you refer to me as President Adonis. Got it?”

“Yes, President Adonis, sir!” we all yelled.

Caleb stepped up next.

“And I’m Caleb MacLaughlin. I’m your Dean of Pledges. My job is to get you through all the fun “parts” of this process. Think of me as the bad cop in your lives. I’m gonna fuck you up, but understand that this is how all real Gamma men are made. You all are in height order, and this is how you will do everything Gamma related until this process is over. And Joe, you are Pledge Letter A, Oswald, Pledge Letter B, Chad Letter C, Jason D, and Victor E. So if I say A through E, turn left.

We all turned left, Joe in the front of the line and Victor in the back.

“Ok you guys learn quickly. Nice. And from here on out you guys can call me Big Brother Mini Blaster.”

“Yes, Big Brother Mini Blaster, sir!” we all yelled. 

My stomach tightened up when I realized what his name meant. I couldn’t take much more of this.

I guess my nerves showed on my face, because Ryan eyes sparkled with manic delight as he stepped forward. 

“That’s right Letter D. Caleb here is my little brother. I brought him through last year. He was a Letter D, just like I was. I taught him everything he knows. Anyway, I’m Ryan Wright, I was President and Dean of Pledges last year, now I’m just here to help out where I can. Call me Big Brother Master Brother.”

“Yes, Big Brother Master Blaster, sir!” we all yelled. I was freaking out in my mind at this point.

Sirod began, “So today I just want you all to get to know each other. So relax-” 

**MMMMHHHPPHH!! mmmpphhh!! BBBRRMMMMPPPHHHH!!! PPRRBBBBBBTTT! FFRMMMBBRRT! PPBBBBBRRMMMMPP!**

I fucked up. I just blasted my biggest fart ever. I would have been proud, but... the timing. Victor, who was behind me began coughing. Everyone else in the room just stared at me.

“I- I - I...” I was at a loss for words.

Sirod’s eye’s went steely cold. “I empathize with you Letter E, I was behind Ryan when I was pledging. But Letter E’s are the toughest men on the line, so if you break formattion again, you’ll have to deal with me. As for you Letter D, do you think it’s funny to interrupt me?”

“N- N- No Sirod, Sir” I stammered.

“MY NAME TO YOU, PLEDGE, IS PRESIDENT ADONIS. Now you’ve pissed me off. Caleb, Ryan, I’m leaving. Have Fun.” Their faces both lit up in evil glee. Our collective stomachs dropped. Sirod began to walk towards the door, “Oh and you guys still need to know each other by tomorrow, so I guess you’re pulling an all nighter.” And he left us alone with Master and Mini Blaster.

Both guys, still smiling, began to take off their clothes, stripping down to their underwear.

“A through E” Caleb ordered, “On your backs”

We all layed down.

“I’m sorry guy-” I started, as Ryan sat down on my chest, legs next to my head.

**PPHHHFRRMMPPHH!**

“So Letter D, you’re all mine tonight.” Ryan said, “You can handle the others, right, Mini?”

“Yep, I got them.” Caleb replied.

Caleb was walking back and forth in front of us. At random, he would squat over one of the other guys and rip a fart.

**PPRRHHBBT! PPHRRROOOMMPH!**

Joe got a face full. He tried to hold his breath, but Caleb’s fart lasted longer than he could hold his breath and he ended up inhaling a huge cloud of gas. Caleb left him coughing and moved to Ozzie.

**PPPHHRRBBBBBBTTTT!** He blasted in Ozzie’s face. Ozzie seemed unfazed.

“I forgot you’re on the rugby team. This is just like freshman hazing isn’t it? Let me turn it up a little.”

He sat on Ozzie’s face and pushed out 10 deep farts in succession. When he rose, Ozzie looked dizzy and his eyes were out of focus.

**BBRRMMPPHH!**

He dropped a 5 second ripper on Chad, who looked like he was going to throw up.

He moved to Victor.

**HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSppppppp**

He unleashed 20 second SBD that hissed then sputtered like a motorbike. I could feel the heat on that one, and began to gag from the double blast, but Victor held his poker face. His eyes were streaming however. 

“Oh we have a tough Letter E, do we? You wanna help me with this one?” Caleb looked at Ryan. Victor’s eyes grew wide, but he didn’t move, ready to accept his fate. This was my fault, I couldn’t let that happen. I looked at Ryan

“Big Brother Master Blaster, those farts were weak.” I said.

Ryan stared at me for a second, then he laughed “Spoken like a true Letter D. Mini, get over here.” 

And I was subjected to 20 minutes of fart hell. From above, Caleb was blasting like his colon was dying. In front of me, Ryan ripped the deadliest farts I ever smelled. 

**PPPHHRRBBBBBBTTTT!**

**BBRRMMPPHH!**

**PHHHBBBBRRRMMPPHHH!!**

**PPHHBBRT! BBRMMPPPHH!**

**FFRBBBT!**

**PPPPPHHHHRRBRBBBBBBTTTT!**

**BRRMPPH!**

**PPHHRRBBBBBBBBBPPHHRRRPPPPPTTTT!!!**

I was fading out of consciousness when Ryan said, “The rest of you guys can leave, we’re gonna hang out with Letter D here for the rest of the night.”

My heart sank. I couldn’t take anymore. But at least my new friends wouldn’t have to suffer for my mistakes. However, Chad spoke up.

“Big Brother Master Blaster, we’re not leaving without Letter D.”

“Oh?” Ryan said. And he got up, dropped his underwear, exposing his bare ass and 

**PPPHBBRTPPHHBBRTBBRMMPPPHH**

**PPHHRRBBBBBBBBBPPHHRRRPPPPPTTTT!!!**

Right into Chad’s face. Chad dry heaved, then began coughing heavily.

**“** HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! **”** Caleb laughed, “That’s what the fuck I’m talkin’ about!”

“You sure you guys don’t want to leave? There’s plenty more where that came from.” Ryan said evilly, patting his stomach.

Chad continued coughing, then he laid back down and said, “We’re not leaving unless it’s all of us, Big Brother.”

Ryan looked at him, then the rest of us. “I guess you all might make some decent Gamma men.”

Caleb smiled, “Alright you guys, get out! You survived night one!”

I never ran so fast in my life. The five of us scrambled out of the room and ran from the house. We kept running until we couldn’t see the mansion anymore.

“So what do we do now?” Joe asked, panting.

“My house isn’t too far from here, you all can stay there tonight.” Ozzie offerered.

“What’s the address? I need to get something from my room first. I’ll meet you there.” Victor got the address from Ozzie and started jogging back to his dorm.

“We still need to get to know each other by tomorrow.” Chad reminded us.

“Yeah,” I said. Then I began to notice my smell. “But showers first.”

“Showers first.” The other guys agreed.


	3. Battle Amongst Brothers

Ozzie’s House was amazing. A two story mansion, but unlike the creepy, ornate style of the Frat House, his was completely modern. We explored the house for a while, then we each went to one of the many bathrooms and washed up. I was in one of those fancy ones, with a glass door. The shower was so relaxing, and I was glad to get that stench off me. I still had a bit of gas from earlier, so I decided to release the pent up gas.

**BBBRRRRMMMMPPPPHHH!!!!**

**BBBRMMPH!**

**PPBBRT! PPHHRT!**

I laughed to myself. This bathroom had excellent acoustics.

“Holy fuck dude, you aren’t done farting yet? You must have some kind of demon inside of you.” Ozzie’s voice came from the bathroom door, laughing.

I jumped from the shock of hearing his voice. 

“Dude, what the hell! I’m showering! “ I said angrily.

“Sorry man, I forgot most people care about being seen naked. I’ve showered with my team so often that dicks don’t even bother me anymore.” Ozzie laughed. “I brought you a towel and a change of clothes. It might be too small, but I’m sure anything is better than those fart rags.”

“Thanks man” I replied, “And by the way I’m out of gas now, so you don’t have to worry anymore.”

“No offense, but I’m still doubtful” Ozzie joked. “Hurry up and finish, we’re about to eat.”

“Ok, I’ll be done soon.” I said, turning off the water.

I dried off and put on Ozzie’s clothes. The shorts were too small, and the shirt was too tight, but it was fine. I headed to the kitchen, where the other guys were having a conversation. Victor had just arrived, still wearing the clothes from earlier. The smell was palpable.

“God damn Victor! Why didn’t you wash up!” I fired at him.

“It’s not a big deal, and besides we’re gonna have to get used to this smell anyway. I doubt this is the last time Ryan and Caleb are going to fuck with us.” Victor responded. “Anyway, I was in a rush.”

“Why?” Chad asked.

“Well, I figured we were going to eat afterwards, and I wanted to make the food better.” Victor replied. “Besides, I figured we could use some help relaxing after tonight.”

“What did you get?” Joe asked.

“Do you even have to ask?” Victor reached into his backpack and pulled out a jar full of green plants.

I didn’t understand, but Ozzie and Chad started laughing.

“Alright, that’s what I’m talking about.” Chad said.

“You smoke, Chad?” Victor asked, surprised.

“Every now and then. Only when my friends do.” Chad, replied.

“You keep surprising me,” Ozzie said.

“Thanks, I guess.” Chad grabbed a jar to look at the weed buds. “This is some quality stuff Victor.”

“Thanks man. I grew it myself.” Victor said proudly. “Anyway, this shit ain’t gonna smoke itself. You down, Jason? Joe?”

“Sure” Joe said.

“I’ve never smoked before, but I’ll give it a shot.” I said.

We went to the roof of the house. Victor rolled the joints and started to light one. He puffed it a few times then began to talk. “So there’s another reason I wanted to smoke with you guys. We don’t know each other, and we need to get to know each other quickly. This will help us loosen up a little. And I want to play a little game. Every time the joint gets to you, you ask someone a question, that they have to answer honestly. Sound good?”

“Sure,” the rest of us agreed.

Victor took a pull from the joint. “I’ll start. Jason, why the fuck are you so gassy? I have to stand behind you now, and I need to know if I’m going to be safe.”

I was not ready to answer that question. I thought for a minute. “ I eat a ton of gassy foods and fart all the time in my room. Joe and I have farting contests all the time. Today was just one of those days. And being honest, I think it’s cool when guys fart. That might not make sense, but I think it shows a confidence that I respect. Hell, I find it kinda hot. But yeah, you should be safe. I’ll try to avoid gassy foods during the pledge process.”

The joint went to Joe next. “First off, Victor, you’re not safe. Jason's lying. He’s gassy all the time, food just makes it worse. But my question, Chad, why do you want to be a Gamma? You seem like a nerd, no offense, why do you want to be around these guys?”

Chad laughed. “None taken, I am a nerd. I like nerdy stuff. But I hated the stereotype, so I started working out. I used to think only dumb jocks exercise, but I found out I really enjoyed it. I started to realize that stereotypes are really stupid and I wanted to show people that nerds can be swole frat guys too.”

Joe passed the joint to Ozzie, who looked at Victor. "Why do smoke so much?”

“Because it’s fun, and not really dangerous.” Victor replied.

“Fair enough,” Ozzie laughed.

Ozzie passed to Chad, who turned to Joe. “Who won the most farting contest out of you two?”

Joe laughed, “Honestly, It’s about half and half. I think we’re about even in terms of skill.”

“Oh God, you’re gonna fart on me one day, aren’t you?” Ozzie moaned.

“Maybe.” Joe said, with an evil laugh.

“You? What about me? I have to stand between both of them!” Chad said nervously.

Chad passed the joint to me. I thought about it for a while. “Do you guys hate me? I fucked up so badly tonight and unleashed Ryan and Caleb on us. I'm so fucking sorry.”

The guys looked at each other, then started laughing.

“Jesus Christ dude! It’s not that serious.” Victor said, “Yes, tonight was horrible. Yes, I gotta farted on by three guys, you being one of them, and yes, I still smell like an ungodly abomination. But you guys are pretty cool, and if I have to deal with some farts to be brothers with you bastards, I guess I have to deal with some farts.”

My heart rose, and the gloom I had been feeling all night melted away.

“But you owe me.” Victor finished.

“How?” I asked.

“I want to have a farting contest with all of you guys. Tonight.” Victor announced, taking a big puff from his joint.

“What? Why?” I said, surprised.

“Because I’m competitive as fuck, and if I’m going to be stuck with you gas bags, I need to know how I match up.” Victor replied.

“Let’s do it! I haven’t had a farting contest since freshman year!” Ozzie jumped up excitedly. 

Chad piped up, “I’m probably gonna lose, but sure.”

“You guys are really excited to lose! Let’s do this!” Joe taunted.

“You don’t have to ask me twice!” I said, excited.

Victor smiled a huge grin, “So here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna smoke this weed, eat a ton of food, then fart until the sun rises.”

And one of the best nights of my life began. We smoked 7 joints and chatted some more, then went downstairs to raid the kitchen. Ozzie’s pantry was full of great food and we ate so much. I told the guys about the foods that get me gassy; fiber bars, beans, onions. Joe suggested some beer, and Ozzie whipped up some protein shakes. Victor drank an entire two liter of pop, holding in all his burps. I saw Chad sneak off with a bulb of garlic, and come back with noticably smelly breath. We went on this disgusting food rampage for 3 hours, then went to Ozzie’s room. We decided to sit in A-E order. 

I wasn’t expecting much from these guys, but they came to play. 

Ozzie asked, “Are there any rules for this?”

“Not really,” Joe replied, “Just fart for 2 hours. We vote on the winner at the end. You’re disqualified if you shit yourself.”

“Good to know,” Ozzie said, and he kicked his leg up and unleashed an almighty 

**PPHHRRRRBBBBBBFTTTT!!!**

“Oh, we’re starting?” Victor asked, then he bent over and 

**BBBBRRMMMMMPPPPPHH!**

“Guys, you’re gonna have to come better than that weak shit!” Joe laughed, he leaned his ass towards Ozzie and 

**FFRMMMBBBBBBBRRFFTTTPPHHRRRRBBBBBBFTTTT!!!!**

Ozzie fanned his face and started laughing. “Jesus man! But what do you say to this?” 

**BBRMMPPHHppppbrtBBBBRRMMMMMPPPPPHH!!!!!**

Ozzie and Joe were having their own little battle on their end.

I stood up, took a bow, and 

**FFRMMMPPPHHHHFFRRBBBBBFFFFFTFFRMMMBBBBBBBRRFFTTT!!!!**

Victor looked amazed, then realized that I had just farted on him again. “You bastard!” He laughed, “My turn!” Then he pulled me back to the ground and sat on my chest

**PPBBBRTTMMMMPPPHHHBBRMM**

**PPPHBBRAAAAPPPFFT**

**BBBBRRRRBBBBBBBBFFFTTFFFFPPHHHH!!!**

I was shocked. “Damn dude, that was epic!”

“Haha it was, wasn’t it?” Victor said, clearly pleased with himself. “What about you, Chad. I don’t hear you over there.”

Chad blushed, and then his face changed from embarrassment to relief. The smell of rancid garlic cut through all the other smells in the room. Chad smiled a silly grin. The smell was so bad that Joe and Ozzie stopped their mini battle.

Joe exclaimed, “Chad was that you?”

Ozzie was dumbfounded, “Jeez, you smell worse than Jason!”

Chad laughed, “My stomach does not handle garlic well. And I ate a whole bulb.”

From there it was absolute chaos. Ozzie and Joe kept trying to gas the other out. Victor and I kept trying to rip farts in each other’s faces. Chad sat quietly in the middle, blasting out his deadly garlic farts. More than once we had to move to another part of the room because of Chad’s farts.

We noticed that there were only 5 minutes left, and everyone tried to make their final push for victory. Joe was on all fours, ass up, ripping fart after fart, 

**ppppbrt! ppppbrt! ppppbrt! ppppbrt! ppppbrt! ppppbrt! ppppbrt! ppppbrt! ppppbrt! ppppbrt!**

Ozzie was in a squat, he had mastered the long fart by this time and would push out twenty second farts with ease,

**ssssssssssFFRMMMBBBBBBBRRFFTTTsssssssprbt BBBBRRRRBBBBBBBBFFFTT PPBBBRTTMMMMPPPHHH!!!!**

Chad had embraced the SBD, and it seemed his goal was to make me pass out. But before the time ran out even he released a beastly 

**BBBRRMMMMMPPHHHBBBRRMMMMMPPHHHRRRMMMPPPPRRRMMMPPPP!!!!**

He shocked all of us, but I couldn’t lose to these new guys. I used all my skills and unleashed a glorius fart

**FFRMMMBBBBBBBRRFFTTTMMMMHHHPPHHmmmMMBBRRTPPBBBBBRRMMMMPP!!!!!!!!!**

I sighed, laughed, and laid on my back, proud of my obvious victory.

“Don’t get cocky nigga. We ain’t done yet! And you just left yourself open.” Victor said menacingly. He squatted his ass over my face and 

**PPBBBRTTMMMMPPPHHHBBRMMPPPHBBBBRRRRBBBBBBBBFFFTT FFFFPPHHHHTBBRMMPTBBRAAAAPPPFFT!!!!!**

And with that the two hours were up. The battle was over.

We laughed like the high, dumb, gassy idiots we were. Then Chad said, “I love you guys.”

“Hey, love you too man.” Ozzie said.

“We’ve only known each other for like a day.” Victor said, laughing.

“Well yeah, but I already feel like you guys are my brothers.” Joe said.

“Yeah, I love all you guys.” I said.

“So...umm...”Chad said, “Who won?”

“Me!” Everyone said at once, then we laughed.

“Being 100% honest, I think it was a tie. I’m shocked by how good you guys are.” Joe said.

“Especially Chad here!” Victor said, clapping Chad on the back, “Did you hear that last fart he did? Beautiful.”

Chad beamed.

“So if it’s a tie, what does that mean?” Ozzie asked.

“It means we gotta do this again to see who the real master is!” I said.

“Awesome, I can’t wait to do this again.” Chad said, excitedly.

“I’m down to battle whenever you guys are. But I need to get some sleep, I’m going back to campus. You guys need a ride?” Victor offered.

“Ride?” I asked.

“Yeah, ride. What don’t you get?” he replied.

“But you were running with us to get to the frat house. Why didn’t you drive?” Chad asked. 

Victor looked embarassed, then mumbled “I was high when I got the call...and forgot I had a car...”

We all burst out laughing.

“Dumbass!” Ozzie chided.

“So do you bastards want a ride or not?” Victor said angrily, walking towards the door.

“Yeah” the rest of us said, still laughing.

The four of us left Ozzie’s house and got into Victor’s jeep. We started driving back, when we realized,

“God damn! We smell horrible, again! Is this how every night is going to end?” Joe said.

“Probably.” Victor said, and we all laughed.

At that moment, all our phones buzzed. I checked the notification and it was a message from a number I didn’t recognize. It had a video of an ass. Unfortunately, I recognized it as Ryan’s. It seems the other guys got the same video. I clicked play. Immediately the was an uproarious 

**PPHHHHHHBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRFFFFMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHPPBBBRTTMMMMPPPHHHBBRMMPPPHBBBBRRRRBBBBBBBBFFFTT FFFFPPHHHHTBBRMMPTBBRAAAAPPPFFT!!!!!**

It easily put anything from our battle to shame.

Then Ryan turned around, looked into the camera, flashed his scary grin, then growled, “See you pledges tonight.” 

The rest of the car ride was silent.


	4. "The Box"

Class sucks. Class always sucks. But as I sat in my last lecture class of the day, I couldn’t help but wish the clock would slow down a little.

I kept replaying Ryan’s threat in my mind. I kept imagining him farting on me, with that crazy look and smile. It was scary, but to be honest, there was still a part of me that was looking forward to hearing Ryan fart again. It’s not everyday that you get to hear a master at work. 

Class moved at a cheetah’s pace today and before I knew it, I was walking with Joe to Ozzie’s house. Sirod told us that we should all be together when they call us next time, so we agreed to just meet at Ozzie’s house at the end of the day. As we walked, Joe was visibly nervous.

“You alright, Joe?” I asked.

“Dude, you don’t want to know.” he said, shaken.

“Are you sure?” I started, “You know you c-” 

*HONK HONK*

We jumped at the sound, and turned around to see Victor pulling up beside us. Chad was in the passenger seat. Both of them were wearing workout clothes and were still sweaty. 

“Yo, hop in.” Victor said.

We complied.

Joe and I hopped in the back seat.

“Where did you two just come from?” I asked.

“The fitness center. Vic asked me to show him some exercises.” Chad responded.

“Yeah, I figured If I’m gonna be a frat boy, I might as well be a sexy one.” Victor said, laughing.

“I’m glad we ran into you two, we wanted to show you something” Chad said.

“What?” Joe asked.

Chad looked at Victor, and they exchanged a grin.

**PPPHHRRBBBBBBFFTTT! PPHHHRROOOOPPTT! BBBBRRMPPPHHHH!**

**FFFRRRMRMMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHH!**

“Fiber Bars Bitch!” Victor yelled, and the two began cackling like mad men.

“Fuck, that’s horrrible!” Joe said, covering his mouth and nose.

“We may have created some monsters,” I said, laughing at the two.

Victor refused to roll down the windows, so when we arrived at Ozzie’s, Joe and I dove from the back seat once the doors unlocked, gasping for air.

“Vic, you gotta remember to put the child safety lock on next time.” Chad laughed. 

Ozzie heard our commotion and came outside.

“What’s up my Gamma Brothers!” he yelled

“Dude, keep it quiet, we aren’t Gammas yet!” Joe protested.

“But we will be soon, don’t be a buzzkill.” Ozzie shot back.

“Not if Ryan gasses us to death first,” I said dejectedly.

“Well after yesterday, I think I can deal with any other gas attacks.” Victor boasted.

“But we all saw his video. He ripped one bigger than anything from our battle.” Chad said nervously.

“And what about Caleb. He’s nothing to scoff at either.” I added.

“Don’t be a buzzkil!! I’m trying to psych myself up, guys!” Ozzie snapped.

“Sorry” Chad and I said.

“Anyway, let’s chill before they call us.” Ozzie suggested.

So we went inside Ozzie’s house and relaxed. Chad and I finished our homework, then joined the other guys, who were playing FIFA.

Ozzie and Victor were currently playing, and I remembered the chat Joe and I had earlier.

“Hey man, what was up with you earlier?” I asked.

Joe sighed. “Did you know that Dr. Pierce is a Gamma?” he asked.

“Wait, what?!?!” I said, shocked. 

“Who’s Dr. Pierce?” Chad asked.

“Asshole calculus teacher.” Joe explained, “Failed me last semester because I didn’t show my work on the final. Anyway, I had to retake his class this year, but I’ve just been fucking around. Cutting farts in the back just to mess with him. But...I’m failing again.” 

“Dumbass” Ozzie chided, still playing the game.

“Fuck you, Oswald! Anyway, he asked me to stay after class to talk to me. He was lecturing me about my farting in class, then he pulled out a signet ring from his bag and it had a huge Gamma on it. It looked really nice.” Joe explained.

“Ok...so he’s a Gamma, and he has a nice ring...what's the problem?” Victor asked.

“He said that he was glad I decided to join Gamma, and that he wanted to give it to me when I’m done pledging.” Joe replied.

“But doesn’t he hate you? Why is he being so cool?” I asked. 

“That’s what I was wondering!” Joe said, “But then he said that I had to survive a night in ‘The Box’ with his son. So I agreed.” Joe explained.

“What’s ‘The Box’? Who’s his son?” Chad asked.

“No Idea, but I really want that ring.” Joe said.

“Dumbass” Ozzie chided again.

“Call me dumbass one more time.” Joe said.

“Or what?..........Dumbass” Ozzie put the controller down.

“Or this!” Joe grabbed Ozzie and the two began to wrestle. I moved out of their way, laughing at the lunacy. Then, my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Is that how you greet your president?” Sirod’s voice was cold and sinister.

“Greetings! President Adonis! Sir!” I chanted into my phone. Chad and Victor heard me and moved closer to listen. Joe and Ozzie were still wrestling on the other side of the room.”

“You pledges requested ‘The Box’?” Sirod asked.

“Y-yes sir, Letter A spoke to Elder Brother Pierce, he told him to last a night in ‘The Box’ with his son.” I told him.

“Well, that’s not how my pledges operate. You don’t do things as individuals, you do it as brothers, so all of you are going in the box tonight. We had something else planned for you, but Brother Pierce insisted.” He laughed. “Be here in 10 minutes. The door will be open, come to the room from last night.”

“Yes Sir” As soon as I hung up there was an almighty

**PPPPHHHHHHBBBBBBPPPPHHHHHHBBBBBBFFFFFFFMMMMFFFFFFFFFFMMMMFFF!!!**

Ozzie had pinned Joe, and ripped a nasty fart in his face.

“Thanks for that.” Victor said. “Thanks to this dumbass, we’ve all got a night in ‘The Box’. Actually, can you hit him again for me?“

“One sec” Ozzie scrunched up his face and 

**BBBBBBBRRRMMMMOOOOOOOOPPPHHH!!**

Then he released Joe, who seemed fine, other than a bruised ego.

“You guys ready? We got ten minutes to get over there.” I said.

“Let’s go.” Victor said, grabbing his keys. 

We drove to the frat house in silence. No one knew what The Box was, and everybody was nervous. The ride was quick, too quick, and before I knew it I was looking at the ominous gas chamber that was the Gamma frat house. Remembering Sirod’s instructions, we went straight to the room. No one was there, so we stood attentively in letter order. After 30 minutes, no one had arrived yet, when suddenly there was a voice I didn’t recognize.

“WOOOO! WHAT’S UP PLEDGES! I’M TERRENCE, BUT YOU BETTER CALL ME BIG BROTHER LOUD AND PROUD. NOW GET IN THE BOX!”

“Hold on Terrence, I haven’t told them what the box was.” Sirod walked in the room after the loud guy.

“Well hurry up! I can’t wait to fuck these pledges up.” Terrence pointed at Joe. “Especially this one.”

Joe gulped audibly. Terrence started laughing.

“P-P-President Adonis,” Joe stammered, “What is The Box?”

“Well The Box is an old Gamma tradition, we use it to build mental fortitude. You five, are gonna be locked in that closet for about eight hours with Big Brother Loud and Proud over here.” Sirod told us with a smile.

At this point, I’m not surprised. All I’m worried about is Big Brother Loud and Proud. I’ve never heard of this guy before, I have no idea what his farts are gonna be like.

“WE DONE TALKING YET? I’M READY TO GET STARTED!” Terrence yelled and went into the closet and shut the door. Almost immediately there was a thunderous

**PPPHHRRRRBBBBBBBBBTTTT!**

And I immediately understood why he goes by Big Brother Loud and Proud. That fart was unbelievably loud. Even with the door closed in another room, it sounded like he was in the room with us. I felt Chad next to me trembling slightly.

“It sounds like he’s ready to go, any questions?” Sirod asked, getting ready to leave.

“Do we have to stay in there for the entire eight hours?” Victor asked.

“Well, that’s when I’ll be back to unlock the door. Terrence has a key, so he might unlock the door early, you’re gonna have to ask him that yourself.” Sirod replied. “So...in you go.” He motioned towards the door. 

Slowly we walked into the closet. To my relief, it was a pretty big walk-in closet. The six of us would fit in there easily, with room to spare. There weren’t any clothes in it, except for the shirt that Terrence had taken off. He was doing push ups when we walked in. 

Once all five of us were inside, the door shut behind us and there was a small click. As soon as the door locked, Terrence, still doing his push ups, exploded.

**FFRBBBBBMMMPPH!!!**

**PPHHHRRRMRMMMMMMMMM!!!!!**

**PPPPPRRRBBBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!**

They were short, but so loud that I felt my body vibrating. And then the smell started to sink in. Protein shakes. Just rancid milk, and spoiled protein shakes. Terrence finished his push ups, punctuating the last one with another 

**BBBRRMMPP!**

The he moved to a seated position, crossing his legs. I finally got a good look at this guy and I was awestruck. His chest was huge and his abs were ridiculously defined. It was obvious that this guy worked out, and his farts just made him hotter. 

Terrence smiled and said, “Well you don’t have to stand there for eight hours, sit, relax, we’re gonna be here for a while.” Then he added, “Except for you,” pointing at Joe. “You get to work out with me!”

“What!?” Joe exclaimed.

“Letter A, you already know why. You’re the whole reason I’m here, remember.” Terrence said, boisterously. 

“But-” he both started, but his complaints were drowned out by

**PPHHBBRT! PHHRBBTTT!! PPHHBBBRT!!!**

“Sorry, didn’t catch that.” Terrence laughed. The smell of his protein farts continued to fill the room. “God damn! I’m going ham tonight! That smell is deadly! Anyway, you’re gonna do crunches and I’m gonna do squats. We’ll be done when you hit 500.”

Crestfallen, Joe walked over to Terrence and got in position to do crunches.

Echoing our moment from last night, the rest of us got ready to do crunches too. Terrence laughed again, “Ah brotherhood, it’s a beautiful thing. But I don’t recommend it this time. It’s already starting to get rank in here. Add 5 more guys sweating, you all won’t survive.” 

“No, Big Brother, if one of us is punished, then we’re all punished.” I said, standing up for my friend.

“Alright, it’s your funeral. But Letter A here deserves a little extra attention so don’t get in my way.” Terrence said. Then he stood over Joe, who was laying on his back. “And.....Up!” he yelled.

“ONE!” we yelled in unison.

**PPHHHRRROOOOOOBBBFFFT!!!** Terrence’s ass replied after our shout.

This man is an evil genius. As Joe did his crunch, Terrence did his squat, but since he was standing over him, it was a perfect position to rip in Joe’s face. “Up!” he yelled again.

“TWO!” we yelled.

**PPPHHBBBBRMMMPPPHHHH!!!**

And the deadly cycle repeated,

“Up!” 

“THREE!” 

**PPPHHHHBBBRTTTTTFFFF!!!**

“Up!”

“FOUR!”

**BBBBRRRMMMPPPHH!**

“Up!”

“FIVE!”

**PPHHBRRT!!**

Once we hit twenty I was ready to die. I was breathing hard, but the entire room smelled like sweaty protein farts, so I couldn’t get much air. The other guys didn’t look much better off, and Joe looked miserable.

“Alright, break time. We’ve got plenty of time to finish.” Terrence said. He moved away from Joe and began doing more push ups. With every push, another shotgun blast of a fart sounded in the room. The air was so hot and musty I couldn’t imagine a whole 8 hours with this gas master. I knew the other guys were thinking the same thing.

Then Ozzie spoke up, “Big Brother Loud and Proud, President Adonis said there was a way to finish this early. What do we have to do?” 

Terrence laughed his cocky laugh, “I’m too much for you, huh? Well you just have to beat me in a farting contest. You can start the challenge any time tonight, then we see who can fart the most in an hour. If it’s one of you, then I’ll let you leave. But if it’s me, then one of you gets face farted for an hour. So, think about it and let me know what you want to do. And...back to the workout!”

We got back into our routine, and the air grew thicker. You could almost fell the farts all around you. After twenty reps, Terrence would give us a break. At eighty, there was a soft knock at the door.

“One second” Terrence said, and he went to open the door. That raised my hopes a bit, since that would clear the air some. But my hopes were dashed when I saw who it was.

It was Ryan, holding a half finished bottle of Jack Daniels.

“LITTLE BRO!! WHAT THE FUCK IS UP!!” Terrence grabbed Ryan and hugged him, then pulled him inside and locked the door back.

“Hey Terrence,” Ryan said sadly, “What’s up?”

“I’m having so much fun with these pledges, I guess you guys have been training them well!” Terrence said excitedly. 

Ryan sighed, “I’m glad you’re having fun. I had something planned for tonight, but Sirod told me you were in town, and you wanted to box the pledges. So he postponed my night.”

“Well what did you have planned?” Terrence asked.

Ryan leaned in to whisper, and we couldn’t hear him, but Terrence’s response told us everything we needed to know.

“Dude, you are one evil man!” he laughed, “Why don’t we save that for Hell Week? We can get everyone in on that!” 

The idea brightened Ryan mood, “You think? I guess I’ll need to make some calls.”

“Definitely. I’ll make sure that my pledge brothers are in full attendance, just tell me when we need to show up.” Terrence said enthusiastically, “But enough about that, we should have a battle. I still gotta gas out these pledges, and I haven’t had a quality farting contest in a while.”

Ryan’s face lit up with his classic smile. He took a huge swig from his Jack Daniels, burped loudly, and said, “Let’s Fucking Go!” Then he looked at us, “You guys in?”

We looked around frantically, but Terrence stepped in, “How about this, we’re gonna have our battle, but the five of you just have to keep up with us. I think five on two is pretty fair? If you guys win, you can leave, and if we win, you have to stay and face your punishment.”

I thought about it, and it seemed like our best option was to try. We were already struggling to survive Terrence by himself, there was no way we were gonna live through both of them. But we might be able to win a numbers’ game. The other guys seemed to come to the same conclusion, and Victor spoke up.

“We accept your challenge.” he said, then he paused, “But if we win, we get to face fart you two before we leave.”

Ryan and Terrence got a good laugh from that.

“Wow, you pledges are ballsy! Deal!” Terrence said happily, “Ready to battle, bro?”

Ryan smiled and then 

**PPPHHHHRRRRBBTTTTFFRRRRRMMMMMPPPHHHHH BBRRRRRRRRAAAABBBBBBFFFFFF!!!**

“Beast! But that only counts as one.” Terrence said, and he sat down and unleashed 

**PPPPHHHHRRRBBBTTTTT! PPPPPHHHHRRRBBBTTT!!! PPPPHHHHRRRBBBTTTTT! PPPPHHHHRRRBBBTTTTT!**

and Ryan replied with

**PPPPPPPBBBBRRRRRMMPPHHH!! FFRRRMMPPPTTT!! BRRRMMMPPPPHHHH!!!!**

We were awestruck, and completely unprepared for things to escalate so quickly. Chad was the first one to add to our score.

**PPPBBBTT!!**

It was weak, but it still counted. 

We all tried our best to keep the score close, but Ryan and Terrence were in another league.

Ryan was still very drunk, so he just laid on the ground, poked his ass up a little, and began blasting the foulest gas. I guess he went to Texas Buffet and ate a ton of chili, his gas reeked of beans and onions.

**PPPPHHRRRRRRRRRRBBB!! BBPPPHHHHHHHTTTT!!!!**

Terrence was peacefully sitting cross-legged like a Yoga master, and was unleashing his ear shattering farts. 

**BBBRMMMPPPHHHHH!!! PPPPHHRRMMMPPPHHHTT!!! BBRRRMMMMPPPPHHHH!!!!**

I realeased a few **PPHHRMMMPPPHHH!!!** but there was no chance. 30 minutes in, and we already knew we had lost. Ryan and Terrence were still going strong, and were going back and forth with each other. 

**PRHHHMMMMMMSSHHHHHHH!!!!**

**PPHHRMMMPPPHHH!!**

**PHHRRRT!!**

**BBRRRMMMPPPPHHHH!!!**

**BBBBBBBRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMPPPHHHHH!!!**

**PHHRRRRRRBBBBBTTT!!!**

At the end of the hour, the score was 56 to 175. The two of them had farted more than thrice the amount that the five of us did. How was that even possible?

The five of us were shivering in fear, imagining the fate that quickly approached. Ryan and Terrence stood over us triumphantly.

“Holy shit, Ryan” Terrence said, “You’ve gotten WAY better! I can’t believe you finally beat me!”

“Yep, I learned a few things. You’d be surprised how many battles I had in the UK. It was still really close, 90 to 85. But enough about me...we’ve got some pledges to punish.

Ryan grabbed me, and Terrence grabbed Joe. They pinned the two of us down, pulled down their boxers and unleashed two deadly farts into our faces. 

**PHHRRRRRRRBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!**

**BBBBBBBRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMPPPHHHHH!!!!**

“How about another battle, Ryan?” Terrence asked, still sitting on Joe’s face.

Ryan bounced eagerly, “Ready to lose again? Fine! Round 2, Starting.....now!” Then he whispered to me, “Let’s see if you survive this, Letter D.”

**PPPPPHHRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMPPPHHHHHHHHHH!!!** Ryan ripped in my face.

**PPPPPPHHHHHRRRTTTBBBTTT!!** Terrence launched a shotgun blast into Joe’s face.

And there we stayed for the next hour, or maybe longer. I’m not sure, because eventually I passed out. Ryan’s gas at point blank range was too much, especially since the room was already full of toxic fumes. 

I awoke to Chad trying to pick me up from the ground. Victor and Ozzie were helping Joe up. The closet door was open, and light was streaming in from the main room. I was out until morning? What are that man’s farts made of?

The other guys carried us out of the closet and plopped us on a couch. They opened all the windows to clear the air.

“What happened?” I coughed.

“You two basically died,” Chad said.

“After you passed out, Terrence and Ryan trapped us in a corner and finished their farting contest.” Ozzie explained, “Terrence won that one, but Ryan’s stink was unmatched. After the battle, they continued ripping for the rest of the night.” 

“And we had to finish his crunches," Victor said, pointing at Joe, “So thanks for that.”

“Did anything happen afterward?” I asked.

“Yeah, Sirod came and let us out. He told us that we have some information about the frat to learn and he’s giving us until next week to memorize it.” Ozzie told us.

“And even though you passed out Joe, Terrence is gonna tell his dad that you survived.” Victor said, “And you’re gonna pass Calculus.”

“So I’m getting my ring? Awesome!” Joe said excitedly.

Before any one could say anything, Chad punched Joe in the arm.

“Ow!” Joe yelled.

“Dumbass! That was the worst night so far! And you barely made it through! Don’t agree to things like that ever again!” Chad was fuming.

I began to remember something from last night.

“Hey guys, what’s Hell Week?” I asked.

“Exactly what it sounds like.” Ozzie explained, “A week before the end of the pledge process, everything will get drastically worse. But if we can survive that, we’ll be Gamma men.”

“And what does Ryan have planned?” Joe wondered.

“No idea, but if it includes ‘everyone’, I’m already worried.” Chad said.

“Oh well, nothing we can do about it now. Anyone hungry? I’m gonna go to IHOB” Victor offered.

“Right now? But we smell awful!” Chad said.

“Who cares, we’ll just get a booth in the back, away from people.” Ozzie suggested.

“Fine, I’m to hungry to argue anyway.” Joe complied.

“Sounds good, let’s go.” I said, looking forward to breakfast.

We were immediately turned away at the door. We hit the McDonald’s drive-through instead.


	5. Hell Week

“Oh Letter D! I’ve got another one for you! Hurry up and assume the position.” Ryan called from the main room.

I sighed. I stopped cleaning and headed towards him. He was sitting on the couch. When I approached, he lifted both his legs up in the air.

“Hurry up, this one is gonna be amazing.”

My heart sinking, I got on all fours and placed my face near his ass.

He laughed, “You enjoying this yet?”

“Yes, Big Brother Ma-“

**PPHFFRMMPPHH!!!**

“Hah! Fuck, I am farting like a king today! Ok, you can get back to cleaning my room.”

“Yes, Big Brother”

I went back into his room and returned to my cleaning.

They don’t call it Hell Week for nothing.

We had made it to the last stretch of pledging. Hell Week was the final hurdle. At the beginning of the week, we were each assigned to a brother, who we had to live with and obey for the whole week. We were free at 12 midnight on Friday. Joe was paired with Terrence, who had him working out every day, all while unleashing his shotgun farts whenever he got the chance. Joe almost cried when he recanted the story of being locked in the sauna with Terrence after a particularly gassy workout.

“It was ten times worse than ‘The Box’,” he told us, tearing up, “but…if I keep lifting with him I might be able to look and fart like he does. I think I can stick with it.”

Ozzie and Chad had to live with Caleb. He was more psychologically tortuous. He made the two of the repeatedly have farting contest with each other, and the loser had to endure some gnarly cabbage farts from Caleb. Neither of them could leave the house, shower or eat anything except beans. We only spoke with them via text messages for the week.

“I think Caleb may have serious mental issues,” Ozzie texted us, “He really enjoys seeing us battle each other.”

“And the smile on his face when he’s farting on the loser is scary.” Chad said, “But we’re getting really good at farting, so I guess it isn’t all bad.”

Victor was paired with Sirod. I thought he got lucky, since Sirod didn’t seem to fart as much as the others, but Victor quickly cleared that up.

“He farts just as much as the other guys. At the end of every day, he comes home and spends the first two hours clearing out his colon.” Victor told us, laughing, “It’s actually kind of cool. I thought SIrod was a stick-in-the-mud, but he can really let loose. He’s easily got the longest farts out of all of them. He’s been showing me how to lengthen my farts, but anytime I release a weak fart, I have to take a couple rips to the face as punishment.”

That leaves me. I had to live with Ryan, who went about his life pretty normally. He made me clean a few things and pick up his groceries, but nothing too wild. The only catch was I was basically his personal fart cushion for the week. Any time he had to fart, he’d call me over, make me put my face near his butt, then open fire. I thought I had gotten used to this, since I’d been getting farted on since I started pledging, but this was different. Ryan was unstoppable, he’d call me over every minute or two. His farts were loud, long, and potent.

“Hey Letter D, you want some Kimchi?”

**PPHHBBBRRRRRRRR!!!**

“Letter D, what do you think of this?”

**FFFFFFMMMMMPPPHHH**

“Letter D, you ready for some FaceTime?”

**PPPPPHHHRRBBBBMMMMPPHHH!**

The man was a god. I had nothing but respect and admiration for him, but I was reaching my limit. I was beginning to forget what fresh air smell like. His twisted grin and evil eyes began to haunt my dreams. 

I finished cleaning Ryan’s room, just as he was entering. He announced his presence with a magnificent

**PPPPHHHRRRROOOOOOOOBBBPPPPPPPPPHHHFFFFFFF!!!**

“Got some more for you, Letter D. Assume the position.” Ryan said.

I wasn’t ready for this. I needed a break from the gas.

“Big Brother, please give me a break. I can’t take anymore of your farts.” I said, dejected.

“You’re quitting already? There’s no way you’ll survive Hell Night if you quit.” He replied.

“Wait, you’re preparing me for Hell Night? How? Why?” I asked, confused.

“Well obviously that’s a secret. I can tell you that I’ve been trying to build your endurance, can’t tell you why though.” He answered with a sly smile, “But fine, I’ll take it easy for now. It’s almost midnight anyway.”

“Thank you, Big Brother.” I said, excitedly.

“So, since we’ve got an hour to kill, let’s talk.” Ryan offered. Then he lifted his leg and

**FFFFFFFFFFPPPHHHRRRRBBBBBBBBMMMPPPPPPPPHHHHTTT!**

Another amazing fart. I’m glad he stopped unleashing them in my face, but I guess he wasn’t going to stop farting completely. I was amazed as usual, and since I had the chance I had to ask, “Big Brother, you are honestly the best farter I’ve ever heard. How did you get so gassy?”

He thought for a second, “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m part of a secret spy organization that uses farts to torture terrorists and other evil people.”

I looked at him, not sure if he was serious. It sounded ridiculous, but his farts are so bad, I could imagine terrorists succumbing to it. I continued to stare blankly at him, not sure how to respond to that.

Then he started laughing, “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But seriously, I’ve been farting like this since I’ve been in high school. I’ve spent years learning what kinds of foods provide me with that most gas. And since I can put away tons of this food, I’m perpetually gassy.”

He punctuated his last statement with a beautiful

**PPPHHHHBBBBBBRRRRRRRPPPPPPHHMMMPPPHHH!!!**

“You farted like this in high school? You must have been extremely popular with the guys.” I laughed.

“No. I didn’t really fart in public back then. Or with my friends. Or around anyone really. I kept this ability a secret.” Ryan said, looking down at his hands.

“What? Why would you keep your farts a secret?” I asked, surprised.

Ryan was quiet for a while, “…Do you know who my family is?” he asked.

I tried to think, “No, Wright is a pretty common last name.”

“That’s true, well I’ll tell you. My family owns a third of the hotels in this state. My grandfather started the business, and my dad became the CEO after him. After I graduate from college, I’ll take over the family business.” Ryan explained.

“Wow, that’s a lot of responsibility.” I replied, “But what does that have to do with anything?”

Ryan seemed to be getting sad, “I was raised to be extremely proper. I don’t even think I’ve heard anyone in my family fart before. I let one rip at the dinner table once, and my dad grounded me. I was taught that behavior like that is unacceptable.”

I was shocked, “Seriously? That sucks man! Why was your dad so uptight?”

“I don’t know.” He said, “I never asked. But I began to fart by myself in secret. I didn’t let one rip around people until my first year in college.”

Now I was really interested, “Who was the first person you farted around?”

Ryan smiled, “It was Sirod, actually. We were roommates during freshman year. We didn’t know each other, and I didn’t like him very much. He seemed to be really stiff, he reminded me too much of my father. But one day, he came back to the room really late. He thought I was asleep, so he began to cut loose. I was amazed at his farts, and I decided to show him what I was made of. We ended up battling all night. That was my first farting contest, and Sirod and I quickly became good friends.”

He finished his tale with an explosive

**FFRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBRRRRRPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHH!!!**

“Wow, so Si-…President Adonis is really that good?” I asked.

Ryan smiled, “You’ll see.” Then he laughed ominously. “Any other questions?”

I wondered what he was hiding, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me. “Uhh…why did you become a Gamma.” I asked.

Ryan laughed. “Do you even have to ask? A frat full of farters? Once I found out what it was, I couldn’t wait to join. One night, Sirod and I were having a battle, when there was a knock at our door. It was Terrence, who was our RA. He could hear our farts through the wall and couldn’t sleep. So he came to the room, and offered to join our contest. He demolished both of us, but at the end of the night, he told us about Gamma, and suggested that we join.”

“Woah!” I said, shocked. “Big Brother Loud and Proud used to beat you? You used to lose?”

“Yeah, he used to destroy us. It was hell when we were pledging. You’ve heard his farts, I almost went deaf!” Ryan reminisced.

We both laughed.

“So what about you,” Ryan asked, “Why do you deal with me? All these farts?”

**BBBRRRMMUUUUUUUUUMMMMPPPPPHHHHTTT!**

**PPPHHBBBRRRRTTTTTFFFFTTTT!!!**

“Are you serious? I think you’re amazing! I thought that I was a good farter, but when I met you, you quickly showed me how much more I had to get better. Even now, after all the hazing, I still think you’re sexy as fuck.” I told him, realizing immediately that I had let my hormones take over. I blushed, “Uhh…Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

But Ryan’s face had changed. His smile slowly began to change from cheerful to sadistic.

“So you find this sexy, huh?” Ryan said, and unleashed an unholy

**PPPHHBBBBBRFFFFFFFRRRRRMMPPPHHH!!!**

**PPPPPBBBRRRRRRRRFFFPPT!**

**BBRRROOOPPHH!**

“N-no, I didn’t mean to say that.” I stammered.

But Ryan didn’t buy it. He leaned close to my face.

“Hah! Don’t lie now, Letter D.” Then he laughed, scrunched up his face, and

**PPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHPPPPPPHHHHRRROOOOOOOOBBBBBTTTTTTT!**

“I’m not lying!” I lied.

Ryan looked down, then back at me. “That bulge in your pants seems to say different.”

I put my hands over my crotch, but it was too late, he already knew what was up.

“No hiding it now man!” Ryan yelled.

**FFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRUUUUBBBBMMMMM!!!!**

**PPHHHHRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBRRRRMMMMPPPPPHHOOOOOBBBPPHHH!!**

**BBBRMMMMMPPPPPPHHHHTTT!**

**PPPHHRRBBBBBBFFTTT! PPHHHRROOOOPPTT!**

**PPPHHBBBBRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!**

He was laughing like a psychopath while unleashing fart after fart.

**PPPPHHHHHRBBBBBBRRRRRRRFFFTTTT!**

**BBBBBRRRRRRRMMMMPPPPPPPRRRRRRBBBBBBBBFFFFFFTTTTTTTT!**

**FFFRRRMRMMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHH!**

I couldn’t take it. My dick was throbbing, my mind was racing, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

I tried to leave, but Ryan stopped me. “Oh no no no, Letter D. You’re not going anywhere. You see, I like you too. But until you’re a full-fledged Gamma Man, we’ve gotta keep this relationship…professional.”

**BBBRRRMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFT!**

“So you’re just gonna sit there-“

**FFRRRROOOOOOMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHFFFFFFFF**

“-and enjoy.”

**SSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPHHRRRRRRMMMMMMMMPPPPPHHHTTTT!**

“Because if we’re gonna be together-“

**BBRRRRMMMPPPHHHH!!!**

**FRMMMPPPHHH!**

“This is gonna be a daily occurrence.”

**FFRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHPPPPLLLLLLLTH!**

**BBBBRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMPPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!**

**PPPPPPHHHBBBBBBBFFLLLLLLPPPPPRRRR!**

*beep beep beep beep* Ryan’s phone alarm started beeping, interrupting the oncoming barrage.

“Dammit. Just when the fun was about to get started.” Ryan said, reverting back to his normal self. “Hell Week is over, Letter D. Your final ceremony will be tonight, then you’ll be a Gamma Man. If you survive the ceremony, we can continue this later. You’re free to go.”

I needed to process what had just happened. I bolted from the room, and ran back to my dorm. As I lay in my bed, I considered everything that Ryan said. If I become a Gamma Man, I can be with him. I have no idea what’s in store for us tonight, but I have no doubt that I will survive.


	6. Hell Night

## The madness was almost over. The night was finally here. Hell Night. 

The night that we would become Gammas. The five of us sat silently in Ozzie’s room, staring at our phones, waiting for the call. 

“So..what do you think is going to happen tonight?” Chad asked.

“No idea,” Victor said, puffing nervously on a joint, “I bet there will be farts involved though.”

“Obviously.” Ozzie retorted, “But what else can they do? There’s only so many ways you can be farted on.”

“Exactly!” Joe laughed, “God, I’ve had to burn some of my clothes! Gamma stink never comes out. My girlfriend won’t even hang out with me until I’m done with this.”

“I’ve swear I can identify each brother by the smell of their gas.” I said.

“I can’t wait till I can get a full night sleep without being interrupted by Caleb’s ‘fart calls’” Chad sighed dreamily.

“And if I have to get in that fart sauna with Terrence, I’m prob-” Joe started, but he was interrupted by his phone. He put it on speaker. “Greetings, President Adonis.”

Sirod’s deep voice was chilling, “The usual house, 10 minutes, hope you pledges are ready. Prepare for the worst.” And he hung up.

We had done this dozens of times already, so the five of us quickly piled into Victor’s car and zoomed to the house. 

We arrived at the frat house with 3 minutes to spare. No one spoke, no one did anything. We just wanted to sit in that car forever, too afraid to face what was coming. 

Until Chad spoke up,

“Guys, we got this. Seriously, we survived this long, and after tonight, we’ll be done. Let’s just get this over with! I’m glad I went through this with you guys, and I’d take all the farts to the face myself if it meant I could be brothers with you guys!”

“Wow, what a weird pep talk.” Victor laughed. “But you’re right. Let’s do this guys!”

“You mean brothers!” Ozzie joined in, “Let’s fucking do this!”

I smiled happily, over the past few weeks, I’d really grown to love these guys. The Gammas methods were...strange to say the least, but I definitely grew close to these gassy idiots. The nervousness I’d been feel all night melted away, and I opened the car door. The night air rushed in, and I breathed it in deeply. Unfortunately...

“Really guys...” I moaned, “Who did that?”

“Guilty!” Joe laughed, “Thought I’d get all the farts out of my system before we enter the lion’s den. Don’t want a repeat of the first night.”

“Oh, good idea,” Victor said. “My stomach’s been bubbling since we got the call.”

**PPHHHBBBRRRRRRMMPPPPHHHH!!!**

“What was that, man? I know you can do better than that!” Ozzie teased. Then he lifted his leg and

**PPBBRTFFRMMPPHHFFBBRT!**

“Guys, don’t tell me I’m the fart king today. I’m ashamed of you all,” Chad chided before scrunching up his face and

**BBRRRMMPPPPHHHPPHHBBRRRRRRRTTTTTRMMPPPHHHHH!!!!!!!**

Wow, Chad had really become a beast.

Soon we erupted into a chorus of flatulence, easily releaving all the tension we had been feeling since the call. Sadly, we lost track of time.

“Guys!” I yelled, after unleashing a particularly gnarly fart, “We’re a minute late.”

“Shit!” Joe yelled, and we barreled out of the gas chamber that was Vic’s car.

We scrambled to the front door and got in letter order. Joe knocked on the door, and we waited with baited breath. Almost immediately, Sirod answered the door. “You’re late.”

“We sorry, President Adon-" Joe started.

"No big deal." Sirod said with an unnerving smile. "Come to the kitchen." He led us into the house.

All the tension we blew off in the car came back in spades. We'd never seen Sirod smile like that before, we knew we were in trouble. He brought us to the kitchen, where a huge spread of food was laid out.

"Before we begin, you are to enjoy this feast. I'll be back in an hour to start the ceremony." And with that, he left.

All of us were on guard, but the food looked really good, even though it was a strange combination of foods. Before us was: Cole slaw, baked beans, broccoli and cheese casserole, sauerkraut, fiber bars, protein shakes, kimchi, basically any fart food you could think of. We dove in, even though we knew this would wreck our stomachs. After an hour, Sirod returned.

"Good, it seems you ate your fill. Follow me." He said, and he led us to the door to the dining hall. "There are 5 chairs in the middle of the room. You are to sit down and link arms. You will sit there and show no emotion for 1 hour. If you do, the timer will restart. Last for an hour, and you will be Gammas."

He opened the door, and our jaw dropped. There were over 20 people in the room, all eating the same foods that we had just finished.

Ryan looked over at us and smiled that menacing smile of his. "They're here! Brothers, let's begin!”

And on cue, all the brothers in the room erupted, the room filling with their scent. We sat down in our chairs (which were placed in a circle), linked arms, and tried to focus. 

All the brothers we met before were there, and they tried to get us to break. Sirod surprised everyone (except Victor), by unleashing the longest farts we’d ever heard. He stuck his ass into Ozzie’s face, and unloaded a single fart that lasted a whole minute. 

**BBBRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFTTTTTT** **PPPBBBBRRRRRRBBBBBBBRRRMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHFFFFFRRROOOOOOOMMMPPPHHHHHHHHH!!!**

Halfway through the blast, Ozzie was gagging. Sirod laughed a a deep, evil laugh, “I’ve been waiting for this! As president, I had to go easy on you, but it’s Hell Night now and there’s no holding back! Start the timer over! ”

Ozzie continued to cough, “Sorry guys.”

“It’s fine man,” I tried to cheer him up, “We just started any-”

**BBRRRMMPPPP!!**

**BBRRRMMPPPP!!**

**BBRRRMMPPPP!!**

Big Brother Loud and Proud unloaded some shotgun blasts to my face, I was surprised, but kept my face still.

“Oh, you think you’re tough, huh?” Terrence Pierce said, pulling his pants up. His shirt was already off, and another older shirtless man came up behind him. 

Dr. Pierce, Joe’s calculus teacher was shockingly buff under the suits he normally wears.

“Son, what the hell was that weak shit? This is how you break a pledge.” he said. I was expecting another rip, but he walked up to Joe, and unleashed hell. There was a tiny squeak,

**PRRRP!**

And Joe began shaking violently. He was trying to keep his face still, but his eyes were watering furiously. The smell soon wafted over to me, and I began to understand what Joe was going through. It was an unholy abomination of onions, garlic, cabbage, and a ton of other smells I couldn’t identify.

Even Terrence had to comment, “Jesus, Dad! Don’t kill the boy.”

Dr. Pierce wasn’t hearing it though, “I’ve had this boy in my class for two semesters, and he’s spent the time farting through it. I had to deal with his pitiful farts, and now I’m going to show him how a real Gamma man lets loose.” He pulled his pants down and his ass began to sing,

**PRRRRRRRRP! PRRRRRRRRRP! PRRRRRRRRRRRP!! PRRRRRRRRRRRRP!!**

Joe tried to hold his breath, but the gas kept coming. When he reached his limit, and was forced to draw breath, he immediately gagged and started dry heaving.

“Start the timer over!” Sirod laughed. “We’re gonna be in for a long night brothers!”

Then it was Caleb’s turn. He approached Chad, chugging a beer. He burped violently, then laughed. “Sorry, wrong end. Let me try this again.” He pushed his ass into Chad’s face, scrunched his face up, and there was a long pause.

“What the hell Caleb? A little nervous?” Ryan teased.

“Wait for it...wait for it...” Caleb was pushing. Chad sat there, stone-faced, but I feel him shaking. Then suddenly,

**FFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!**

There was a sudden explosion. Unfortunately, it was so unexpected that Chad, Ozzie, and I all jumped with shock.

“RESET THE CLOCK!” Sirod was happier than we had ever seen him before. 

“Come on Letter D! I was preparing you for this! Oh well, now it’s my turn!” Ryan began to smile evilly. I knew this face, but there was a spark I had never seen before. He got in my face and whispered, “Now let’s see if you’re ready to meet the real me.”

I tried to focus. I tried to think of anything else. But I couldn’t. The man in front of me was a farting demon. His gas was the deadly trifetcta of sound, smell, and length. He put everyone in the room to shame. 

**PPHHRMMMMBBBBBRRRRFFFT! PPHHHRRRRBBBBBBBBBRROOOOOOOOMMMMPPP! PPHHHRRROOOOOOBBBFFFT! PPPHHBBBBRMMMPPPHHHH!!! BBBRRRRMMMMPPPPHHH!!!!**

His gas was so strong that it had all of us gagging, even though he was only in my face.

“Just stop the timer all together! They can’t take it!” Sirod yelled over Ryan’s eruptions. “Brothers, let’s break some pledges.”

And all hell broke loose. 

Terrence and Dr. Pierce had a father-son tag team going on Joe. Terrence was breaking the sound barrier and Dr. Pierce was sqeaking out his deadly rippers.

**BBRRRMMPPPP!!** **BBRRRMMPPPP!! BBRRRMMPPPP!!**

**PRRP! PRRP! PRRP! PRRP!**

Sirod chose Victor as his victim and blasted farts that seemed to go on forever.

**BBBRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFTTTTTT PPPBBBBRRRRRRBBBBBBBRRRMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHFFFFFRRROOOOOOOMMMPPPHHHHHHHHH!!!**

**BBBBBBBRRRMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHFFFFFRRROOOOOOOMMMPPPHHHHHHHHHBBBRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFTTTTTT PPPBBBBRRRRRR!!!**

Caleb had enough gas to destroy Chad and Ozzie at the same time. He kept switching back and forth, and neither could catch a break.

**BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!**

**FFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPMMMMMM!!!!!!**

Which left Ryan with me. I was going to die, I knew it. Ryan had the biggest smile on his face, like he was finally having fun after a really long time. Sadly, it was at my detriment. 

**BBBRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFTTTTTT!!! PPPBBBBRRRRRRBBBBBBBRRRMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHFFFFFRRROOOOOOOMMMPPPHHHHHHHHH!!! BBRRRMMPPPPHHHH! PPHHBBRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!! BBRMMPPPHHHHH!!!!**

The other brothers began to circle us. They added their own gas to the facial assault we were enduring. My vision began to fade. My arms began to slack. I was starting to blackout. I guess I wasn’t cut out to be a Gamma.

But my brothers wouldn’t let me down. Chad yelled out over all the farts, “You guys are my brothers!! We can do this!”

His little outburst reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Victor laughed, “Our battles got way worse than this! We can handle this!”

Ozzie piped up, “I love you guys. I won’t let you down!”

Joe’s spoke through dry heaves, “These guys are weak! Let’s show them that we’re cut out to be Gammas!”

I smiled, “You guys are the best! And Big Brother Master Blaster...Is that all you got? President Adonis, please start the timer.”

Sirod started the timer, and our last stand began. We all sat, stone-faced, unperturbed by the nuclear warheads being dropped. There, locked arm-in-arm with my brothers, I understood that these guys would be my brothers for life, and I couldn’t be happier.

And before I knew it, Sirod’s timer went off. An hour had passed. And suddenly, like a switch was flipped, all the brother’s broke out into applause.

“Congrats, brothers!” Sirod yelled, beaming proudly, “You are now Gammas.”

“Welcome to the brotherhood!” Caleb said, beaming like an idiot. “I’m so glad I could be the one to bring you through this journey. I hope you don’t hate me.”

“Of course they hate you!’ Ryan joined in, looking elated. “They probably hate all of us!” He started laughing. “But seriously, I’m proud to welcome you all as brothers of Omega Rho Gamma!”

He reached out his hand to me, and pulled me up out of the chair I was. Before I knew it, I was being hugged. “You’ve made me so proud, little brother.”

I was speechless. We all were. We made it, we were Gammas, finally. 

“So... I know you all are probably in shock, but there’s still another part to this after you survive Hell Night.” SIrod explained.

“Oh God, it’s not over?” Joe whined, “I don’t think I can survive any more farts to the face.”

Everyone in the room erupted in laughter.

“No,” Sirod explained, “Before we teach you all our fraternity secrets, we christen your induction to the frat with a good old fashion farting contest!”

“You guys ate a ton of food before this, and since none of you threw up, I’m sure you’re feeling pretty gassy right now!” Caleb said.

**BBBRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFTTTTTT!!!**

Everyone turned and looked at Chad. He smiled devilishly. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“That’s my brother!” Vic exclaimed, then unleashed his own, 

**PPHHHRRRRBBBBBBBBBRROOOOOOOOMMMMPPP!!!!**

The room erupted in laughter again, punctuated by farts from miscellaneous brothers.

“Calm down! Calm down!” Sirod said to the room. “I know you’re excited, but this is a special tradition. You guys will team up with another brother and see who’re the best farters in the chapter! By the way, I want to team up with Victor, if that’s cool.”

“Hell yeah! You taught me well, we can fuck everybody up!” Victor yelled.

And quickly, the five of us broke into teams. Chad was with Dr. Pierce, no one was ready for the smell they could unleash.

Ozzie and Caleb teamed up, and the two were in the corner getting drunk on beers, which would do nothing but add fuel to their fires.

Joe and Terrence were linked up, and were pounding protein shakes and doing pushups in preparation for the battle.

Victor and Sirod were practicing their long farts together, and both were going on 2 minutes each, they would be scary to battle.

And I was with Ryan, Big Brother Master Blaster himself. He pulled me to the side and explained to me some of his gassy secrets, but not before planting a quick kiss on my lips. I was stunned, but ecstatic. “I’ve been waiting for weeks to do that!” Ryan said, “And there’s more where that came from if we win this battle.”

And that was all the motivation I needed. 

“Everybody ready?” Sirod asked, “Best farts in an hour, as scored by all the brothers here. And...start!”

Ryan and I were perfectly in sync, and our relationship began with an almighty,

**PPPPPPPHHHRRRBBBBBBBFFFFFFFT!!!**

**PPHHRRMMMMMBBBBRRBBBRRTTT!!!**

**PRRBBBBRRRRAARRMMPPPPPHH!!!**

**BRRRMMPPPPHHHH!**

**PPHHBBRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!!**

**BBRMMPPPHHHHH!!!!**

**PPPBBBBRRRRRRBBBBBBBRRRMMMMMPPPPPHHHHHHHFFFFFRRROOOOOOOMMMPPPHHHHHHHHH!!!**

**END**


End file.
